When I was eleven, my parents thought it would be fun for me to go to the stock show and rodeo with some old people from church. Old meaning, like older than my grandparents. I had zero interest in any of the activities there, except for the hall of pelts where you could pet formerly-living animals.
Anyway, I bamboozled the old people to buy me this photo of me on a fake bull.
See how realistic I look as I dominate this faux beast? I’m really proud of this picture. I think I look like the coolest kid with almost-pubes.
After this it all went downhill. But this photo will live on as a reminder that even at a stockshow and rodeo, amid a hall of pelts, even a wee gaylet can dominate the fiercest of stationary fake bulls.